resources
Having "THE" talk
Having the digital birds and bees talk
Starting this conversation is much like our first sexual experience, its going to be awkward. There’s going to be a lot of fumbling, we’re going to be embarrassed, but we’re going to all feel pretty good once it gets done. And knowing that we should get better at it with time, hopefully, that’s what we’re all aiming our sights on so healthy, consensual relationships. The idea is not to have a perfect conversation but rather to have conversations, to make it a safe and open dialog between you and your child.
How do you talk about sex with your partner?
1. How does our family talk about sex?
2. How do we talk about sensitive issues?
3. What do we believe about dating?
4. How do we address teen pregnancy?
It’s important for parents, caregivers, for those adults involved in a life that they have an understanding already about how they feel about sexuality, how their spouse feels about sexuality and what are the values morals, what are the messages that we want to advertise propel for use?
My experience has been the adults I work with have not had this conversation, and the importance of having a conversation is because we all carry with us implicit assumptions about sex, about behavior that we then project onto the world.
And it’s important to have a unified front, to have some shared space. The only way we get there is by having an explicit conversation with a co-parent, spouse, partner or caregiver.
Establishing tech attitudes, values and guidelines
Every family has values, we have ideologies in and around tech related elements. For those of you who work with adolescents or those of you who have adolescents, you are keenly aware that it’s almost like they are hardwired to point out hypocrisy. When parents are talking about potentially curtailing their adolescence, their child’s technology use, I ask them, what does their tech use look like?
If we want our child to use tech less well, then we need to be mindful of the behavior we model. When mom and dad are at the youth sporting game and the youth looks up from the field and sees mom and dad incessantly on their phone. There is a message that’s being implicitly communicated. I’m not suggesting that there has to be a uniform approach or that the quantities that the adult wears the adolescent uses has to be uniform. But be mindful of these things, be mindful of the messages that we convey even when we’re not talking.
Creating digital use agreements
1. When is our digital detox time?
2. When does our family share no-tech time?
Most important, keep the conversation alive
Download digital use agreement
This tool outlines the boundaries and use of devices in the home. The agreement can highlight which specific devices are permissible, what times devices can be used, and related rewards and limitations. Download now and get updates and free parenting tips from the digital birds and bees website.
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Dr. Rodrigues
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