One day, while home faking doing your homework, you get an alert from your crush. However, as you read the message, your stomach drops, and you are overcome with dread. Turns out the person you thought you had been sharing your intimate thoughts and images with is not that person at all. In fact, they are not a fan of your favorite band, don’t subscribe to your favorite influencer’s channel, and aren’t even a teenager. Instead of heartfelt messages, your crush reveals they aren’t whom you think they are. 

Your crush is actually a 28-year-old man.  You suddenly realize that this person you know nothing about has seen you in ways no one else has.   Unfortunately, the horror doesn’t stop there.

In the same message, he threatens to leak your nudes.  He says that he will leak your nudes to friends and family unless you comply. You wonder, how does he know about your friends?  You immediately realize you told him about your friends and their social media weeks ago.  Oh no.  You told him all kinds of things.  So, what do you do?  He will send your nudes out if you tell anyone, destroying your life before it has even started.     

This scary scenario is becoming increasingly common.  Research has revealed that sextortion is occurring on many social media platforms (Thorn, 2017).  According to a 2018 study, approximately five percent of middle and high school students identified as victims of sextortion (Patchin & Hinduja, 2018). That means out of the roughly 5,500 students in the study, nearly 280 had been victimized.  Notably, three percent of the students in the study reported sextorting others (Patching & Hinduja, 2018), suggesting a possible victim-victimizer phenomenon.  Particularly unfortunate was that 1 in 3 victims remained silent and did not report the matter (Thorn, 2017).  Those who did disclose most often notified family members, then online platforms, and lastly, law enforcement.    

Research has highlighted barriers youth encounter in disclosing and confronting such dangerous scenarios.  Victims experienced feelings and thoughts involving shame, embarrassment, and fear of getting in trouble (Thorn, 2017).  Very concerning is the high number of threats that were carried out.  One survey found that perpetrators carried out their threats almost 50% of the time (Thorn, 2017).

Sextortion may start online, but it does not always stay there. In one case I was involved in, the perpetrator used the images he had gotten from victims online to facilitate in-person meetings. Fortunately, one female victim brought her boyfriend to the meet-up, who then physically confronted the assailant, triggering a police response. However, the situation could have gone badly as the perpetrator had sent detailed instructions to other victims. In one scenario, he tried to direct a victim to a motel room, telling her to disrobe and place her dress outside the room to prevent her from escaping.