how-to-guides
Risks of the “A”s Anonymity, Autonomy & Accessibility
1. Do you accept friend requests on social media from someone you don’t know?
This question will help sort out how kids build their social networks. This can also be followed up with, what if they are friends with your friends? If they are internet famous? An influencer? Are attractive? How do you decide who to let into your circle? Why would you allow someone to follow you?
2. Can you spot a fake account?
A good question to ask kids is what they look for to spot a real or fake account. It’s important for kids to learn how to identify what is real, and what is not in the digital space. As these technologies continue to evolve, this is something we want them to understand to pay attention to.
3. If you were in this type of situation what would you do? What would you say?
The best way to help keep kids safe online is to have them think through how they would handle an encounter before they do, some topics to cover would be, received an online ad that had nudity, saw pornography at a friends house? Had a friend that was engaging in cyberbullying.
4. Tell me about consent
Asking kids to tell you what they know about about consent is an important conversation for children’s sexual development and relationships. When it giving and receiving consent is understood, kids are more likely to grow to have healthy, safe and enjoyable sexual experiences. Follow up questions include, is consent valid if the person is intoxicated or asleep? What about sending or receiving romantic texts or flirtations?
Be prepared for eye rolls , that they already know it all, but remember, that by continuing to talk about it, you are normalizing the discussion of consent and sexuality.
For your younger child, you can introduce ideas about consent without relating it to sex but as they mature it important to bring it into the conversation.
5. How would you respond if you received unsolicited sexual content?
Its important that kids understand that as in any sexual activity, sexting must be consensual. It should occur between two people who have both soberly agreed to do so. Have they spoken in person to the person who sent the messages? Was it from a stranger? How did they feel about it? If they receive messages from someone who they don’t know, do you know how to block them from contacting them on their phone or across social media? Do they know how to report it?
6. If someone made you feel uncomfortable online are you likely to tell someone about.
It’s important that kids feel they can trust the adults in their life when they feel unsafe. What sorts of things would make them feel uncomfortable? Do they know that it is ok to say no? Who would they trust to tell if this happened?
7. Have you ever felt unsafe online? How would you or your friends respond?
This is a good way to help kids identify where safe spaces are and are not online. A good followup question is “Where can you find safe spaces online to share your stories and things that you care about?”
8. Have you ever done something online that you wish
you could take back?
Have you sent a text, email or posted a video that you regretted? What happened? Have you ever been unintentionally “cybercreepy”? Have you take photos of someone that made them feel uncomfortable? What were the circumstances? Have you posted photos on facebook that someone wanted taken down? What were the circumstances?
9. Have you ever found sexual content accidentally online? What did you do?
According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, one in five youth between the ages of 9 and 17 will view unwanted sexual material online. This can happen by seeing sexually explicit images or videos in pop-up windows, websites and emails, without intentionally seeking or expecting it. One study showed that approximately 25 per cent of youth who see, or have been requested to give, sexual content online report extreme fear or distress. Some good questions to ask round this include, how did you feel about it? Did you talk to anyone? Do you know how to stop pop-up windows or avoid websites hijacking your browser and putting adTech malware on your computer?
10. Have you ever had to report someone online?
It’s important to have the right information when it comes to reporting someone online. You can report online child sexual exploitation, use the electronic Cyber Tip Line or call 1-800-843-5678. The Cyber Tip Line is operated by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in partnership with the FBI and other law enforcement agencies.
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